it's a really different birthday from what i had in years.

loads of xoxo to sarah and geokie for the fun-filled girly day out, the retro boxers, rainbow sprinkles-covered creamy daffy duck cake and tippy tappy garden balloon! today sure brought back many cheery memories. im such a lucky girl. =) i miss baby already. go out again soon! =)

thanks des for the HUGE bag of chocolate wafer biscuits and the HOT pink shirt! i loved them! hugs!

much love to xiao yu, sam, van, serene, gwennie, ros, joshua, jeremy,des, prisy and weiying. you all are such angels! thanks for the rich chocolate rum cake, super woman card and pretty clutch bag. yes, mimi will prevail forever! *grinz*

xiao yu, the potato salad was great! if that's a failed attempt, your normal potato salad must taste out of this world!
gwennie baby, thanks for braving the long bus ride to the ulu awfully chocolate shop and wobbly uncle's elbows to get my cake! =)

thanks Jeremy for the sheriff mickey mouse belt. it's just so pretty! =)

Thank you dear nephew sunghun for the surprise of yummy heart-shape tins of mrs fields cookies and brownies! loves! =)

thanks also to Rae, Claire, Ming Hong, Mieny baby, Lawrence, Elsa, Weiyu, Shaun, Jolyn, Dida, Yu ling, Cheryl, Trixy, Della dear, Chris, Weixin, Stephie, Mr Chris Pa, Esther, Graham, the lightologians and Benghock and many others for making my day with all your birthday wishes. i miss all of you! thanks for making today extra special. =)

there's plenty of things to say and lots of love to spread around..knowing you all are part of my life sure fills me with warmth and glorious memories. im a lucky girl. *smiles*

oh, and happy bdae to my other half! we're legal! =)

to you who matter alot alot: thanks for always being there for me. although today didnt happen for us, i trust there'll be lots more of todays for us to spare. i love you.

there's nothing i've ever wanted more.
and it's not another passing wisp of inspiration
i'll take all i can to make you see what i see.
it's time that i need.

i believe there's more to life than all this.
it's not so narrow, not so shallow..
im a lucky girl. many of us are. =)
there's so many things we are able to see, hear, feel, do.
but in this mayhem today, what goes?
it's not so simple, this cycle of constant pursuit of what we think works for us.
i would love to cut myself loose from these constraints.
go out there and really feel, really experience, for once, at all.
these days are dreamlike, out-of-focus.
i feel detached from me and the happenings around me.
a flickering spot of consciousness amidst the crowds.
awake yet barely there.
i flit from scene to scene, touch and go, barely a shadow in the depths of memories at the back of minds.
there's no more pain or fatigue or shame but yet the laughter and crinkles of joy around my eyes reflect no more than mere flashes of what it ought to be, not what it really is.
the numbness overpowers all emotions and physical sensations.
maybe the clockwork's rusty and breaking down.
or maybe it'll just take time for me to return.